Tag Archives: belonging

Celebrations

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We are just coming up to a 4-day weekend for the Diamond Jubilee, and the flags and bunting are going up everywhere.  It’s a big event, once-in-a-lifetime (I was quite young for the Silver Jubilee back in the 70s, and don’t remember a lot about it!).  On top of this, we will be hosting the Olympics this summer, and most of us are feeling at our most patriotic.  We are fostering our sense of belonging and security at our base chakra, at a national level.

It is so important to have something to celebrate in our lives.  Not necessarily, and certainly not only the big things, but all the little things as well.  Our own birthdays, those of our families and friends, Christmas, Easter, whatever festivals  are in your own tradition.  It can be all too easy to get bogged down in the more humdrum aspects of our daily lives, and to forget the wonder that such events can bring.  As adults, we may say we don’t care about our birthday, it’s  ‘just another year older’ – but this sort of thinking can certainly make us feel older.  Children would never say such a thing – and nobody would get the chance to forget their day!  Now, I’m not suggesting that we should go and tell the whole world when our birthday is coming up, but rather that we take the time to think what we would like to do on our birthday.  Even if we have to go to work, to think of some small – or enormous! – way to mark the day.  To see or talk to our closest family and friends, to visit a place we love or would like to see for the first time.  If we most love to cook and share good food,  to do just that.  To have some quiet time if that is what we would truly value.

And, even on our ‘ordinary days’, to reflect upon the things that have made them special, whatever that may be.  It could be some goal that we have achieved, a book we have read, some music we listened to, a yoga sequence we have practised, a meal that we ate, a walk by the sea, the people we have spent time with.  Let us not assume our happiness comes only from the ‘high days and holidays’, but that it comes from within us.  And the more we notice and pay attention to the ways in which we can foster those good feelings, the more we celebrate that which is good about our daily lives, the better we will feel.

One of my yoga teachers once remarked that she has a little holiday every day.  By which she meant that, whenever she really needed it, she practised some yoga or meditation during each day.  What a wonderful idea!  Not feeling a sense of duty about our practice, but using  it to lift our energy and our spirits.  Sometimes it can take only a few conscious breaths to alter our mood and our perception of our situation.  At other times, it may take some movement, whether flowing or energetic.  We may need some quiet time in meditation.  We may need to listen to some uplifting or calming music, or to get outside in the fresh air. It doesn’t necessarily need to take very long.  With Jin Shin Jyutsu, we may use the finger holds (mudras), to subtly identify and change our dominant emotions.  It doesn’t matter what works for you, it only matters that you do something to make every day that little bit special, to give you something to celebrate and be thankful for at the end of the day.

What do you do that makes your day flow more easily?

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A feeling of belonging

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We all like the feeling that we belong – that we are part of a group, whether that be in school or work, with our family or friends, or our communities.  Children initially belong within their families, and, when they are very young, they accept their family’s way of doing things as the way. As we grow older, we learn that there are so many different ways of doing everything in life.  And this is where judgements can start to creep in.  We may still like to believe  the way we have been brought up is the right way.  Or we may admire someone else’s approach to life and adopt it wholeheartedly.  As parents, we can try to encourage our children to be accepting of other traditions and values, and to keep an open mind.

The sense of belonging is a comfort in difficult times.  No-one really wants to feel different to everyone else, or to feel as if nobody understands them.  But how much should we compromise our own inner guidance in order to fit in with our chosen group?  We all have an innate sense of what is right for us,  and the challenge is to adhere to that without judging someone else’s views as inferior or wrong in some way.  As we grow spiritually, we begin to see ourselves as belonging more widely –  not only all humanity but the whole planet and universe are one.  We remind ourselves of this every time we are tempted to set ourselves or others aside by our strong attachment to our own way of doing things, and we allow ourselves to lighten up.

To belong is to feel secure.  The sense of belonging is associated with our base chakra, mooladhara,  the chakra concerned with our sense of security and stability in life.  With our ability to weather the storm, and to withstand life’s ups and downs.  When our security is challenged, we may become fearful and depressed, unable to see our way out, and this can often happen when we feel rejected by a group with whom we have identified, or when a phase of our lives comes to an end and we are literally removed from a group – for example, when we leave a job,  a school or a relationship.  It can also happen when we move home, leaving the familiar and the comfortable and starting again somewhere new.

At times such as these, it is important to work on increasing our sense of security through our work on mooladhara.  This can be done through grounding yoga asanas, such as tadasana or trikonasana, feeling the ground beneath our feet.  The beautiful Dru yoga Earth sequence, Prithvi Nasmaskara, particularly when done outside, is wonderful for enhancing our sense of belonging, our sense of oneness with everything around us.  Connecting with our breath in pranayama and meditation can also help our sense of embodiment, of being safe and secure within our bodies.  Getting out into nature is another way to connect with mooladhara – exercising outdoors in the fresh air, going for a walk by the sea or in the countryside, or doing some gardening or cooking, can all help to enhance our sense of wellbeing, and our sense of belonging in our world.  When we moved home, I really started to feel settled when I went out into the garden with my son, picking rhubarb from a huge clump we had inherited, and then cooking it together in a lovely sticky cake. Amidst the boxes still waiting to be unpacked!

When we feel strong and grounded through our base chakra, we are more open to the changes that will occur throughout our lives – we feel less threatened by the movement of our lives.  As  Mary Burmeister, who brought Jin Shin Jyutsu to the West, used to say, “movement is harmony”.  Without movement, without change, we stagnate, we get stuck.  The movement of our lives keeps us fresh; change keeps us engaged in our lives with vitality and interest.  We let go of phases of our lives we have outgrown, and develop and grow with our new circumstances.  We are more able to take risks and to move into the unfamiliar.  To feel that we belong, not only in the past, not only in some imagined future, but right here, right now.