Recently I have been noticing that so many people say they hate this, they hate that……about themselves, about others, about the circumstances of their lives. Whilst hate is a strong word to use, it is bandied around on a daily basis – I hear it all the time.
Being unhappy about a particular part of our lives can be an important instigator of change. It can give us the push we need to address an issue which has maybe got out of hand. We try to change the circumstances which are bothering us, and perhaps we may manage to improve the quality of our day to day life.
But what exactly is it we are attempting to change? Ultimately it is only ourselves we can change. We can temper our reactions to others and to the events of our lives. And by doing this, we might get a new insight; we might realise that the thing or person that was bothering us is not so bad after all. We might take ourselves out of the equation and realise that not everything is a personal attack – that that way of thinking is just our ego putting us in the centre of the universe.
And sometimes, just by seeing the events and people of our lives in a more impersonal way, a little bit of magic happens and those who were upsetting us seem to change along with ourselves. As Gandhi said, we must be the change we want to see in the world. Whatever we want to change in the external world, we need to start internally, with our own hearts and minds. And until those changes begin to manifest, we need to practise an equanimity, an acceptance of all the people and events of our lives, and to know the difference between what we can change, and those things we cannot.