Tag Archives: Jin Shin Jyutsu

Decluttering and looking after ourselves

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I have been thinking a lot about happiness lately – along with writing more and being more proactive in my business (Ok, I didn’t go into yoga teaching and therapies to do marketing and accounting, but I do have to accept that they are necessary evils!), taking steps to live a happier and higher-energy life is key for me this year.  It’s so easy to feel a bit overwhelmed by the many demands of life, and before you know it, you can feel less than your best!

Luckily for me, most of the things I teach – and use regularly – are hugely effective at lifting my mood.  Some energetic or relaxing yoga  can work wonders, as can a bit of reflexology, and Jin Shin Jyutsu in its simplest form is really the art of identifying and then balancing the subtle shifts of our moods.  And ultimately, for me, the key to feeling good, day by day, is to take time out for things I enjoy, and to live my life being ME – by my own standards, not anyone else’s. Even when you teach others ways to relax, to energise, to feel brilliant, it can be easy to forget to do this consistently, day by day, moment by moment. Despite my daily meditation and yoga practice, I felt that this year there was even more I could do….more reading, more writing, more looking after myself and earlier nights.  I have been taking a few minutes to light candles and nightlights around my home in the early evening, and have been doing a major decluttering, after reading the amazing The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying: A simple, effective way to banish clutter forever by Marie Kondo. There’s still a way to go, but clothes, books and paperwork have been having a complete sort out – the recycling bin and the charity shops near me have benefitted too!

In Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Happier Life,
Arianna Huffington writes of the critical need to reevaluate what we mean by success.  Her moment of realisation came when she collapsed from exhaustion, two years after setting up the Huffington Post.  She writes:

…after my fall, I had to ask myself, Was this what success looked like? Was this the life I wanted? I was working eighteen hours a day, seven days a week, trying to build a business, expand our coverage,and bring in investors. But my life, I realized, was out of control. In terms of the traditional measures of success, which focus on money and power, I was very successful.  But I was not living a successful life by any sane definition of success. I knew something had to radically change. I could not go on that way.

The book goes on to look at the many ways we could redefine success, to include our wellbeing, and making room in our lives for wonder, wisdom and giving to others. So whilst there is nothing wrong in living a ‘successful’ life, in terms of status and money, if that is the kind of life that makes us feel fulfilled, we need to make sure we look after ourselves as well.

Sometimes it is argued that looking after ourselves is just a form of selfishness.  But I would argue that we are unable to look after others if we do not sometimes put ourselves first.  Yes, as parents we care for our children, as therapists we treat our clients to the very best of our ability, as professionals we do our job the best we can.  But, how can we do this if we are drained, exhausted, and lacking in energy? How can we be our kindest, most loving selves when we are tired and aching and just longing for sleep?  I’m certain I’m not alone in being more empathic when I feel good in myself, rested, vibrant and healthy. Have you ever tried being the perfect parent, partner, friend, employer or employee when you’re feeling rubbish?  With the best intentions in the world, it’s just not going to happen.

So, it’s time for us all to stop feeling that it’s wrong to take a break.  We owe it to ourselves – and everyone else! –  to live life to the full.  To explore our human potential to the limit, rather than trudging along, robot-like, just trying to get through the days.

Taking time out, being the best you can be….those are my keys (for myself, and those I work with!) for this year.  Let me know the steps you’re taking to look after yourself!

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Everything must change

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Accepting change is never easy for any of us.  But change is the nature of the universe; nothing stays the same.  Mary Burmeister, who brought Jin Shin Jyutsu to the West, used to say that ‘movement is harmony’, referring to the energy in our bodies which should flow easily but all too often stagnates,  causing mental or physical discomfort. I like to think of this phrase whenever I become aware that I am trying to hold on to something in my life, and remind myself that change is essential,  even when it may lead us in unforeseen directions, and take us away from people, places and circumstances we have known and loved.

At times, change can be hugely exciting and feel totally positive – a new opportunity coming our way. But at other times, the change is not of our making; it is thrust upon us against our will, and it is hard to see the bright side. And yet, so many times we can look back, even years after the event, and realise what that change was making way for.

And if the change is for somebody else, but affects us, it is easy for us to feel left behind, more concerned with how it affects us rather than them.  We can forget to truly be glad for them, and to rejoice in their opportunity, whilst we are too caught up in our own reaction, our own emotions. Our challenge, then, at such times is to be grateful for the times we have shared, to treasure the memories that we have, whilst somehow managing to flow with the changing tide of our lives. And, seeing the bigger picture, we can genuinely be pleased for those we love when they need to move on, rather than trying to hold on to the way we wanted things to be.

Trying too hard

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elm-leaf-231857_1280We live in an age when continual work and huge amounts of effort are held in high regard. Many employees are expected to work above and beyond their contracted hours,  sometimes for no extra pay.  And people almost seem to compete as to who can work the hardest, or the longest hours.

And yet,  when we really look into this culture of competitiveness,  of excessive drive and ambition,  we can perhaps recognise that this constant effort,  the drive and ambition that characterise so many of us in our working lives,  can be counterproductive in terms of our quality of life. The sense of balance between work and rest, between giving and receiving, is so easily lost in this way.  And sometimes we put ourselves under the sort of pressure which actually makes us less, rather than more, productive.

In yoga philosophy, we now see a domination of the dynamic solar energy, the energy of the pingala nadi, affecting the majority of us.  When this dominance is allowed to continue, the sympathetic nervous system is stimulated which induces stress, and may result in any of the stress-related illnesses.  Yoga practices which quiet this system, such as asana, meditation, pranayama (breathing practices) and yoga nidra (deep relaxation), help to recreate balance by fostering the qualities of ida nadi, the parasympathetic nervous system, and the serene and peaceful energy of the moon.

In Jin Shin Jyutsu, we learn to perceive the attitudes which underlie our way of being.  These attitudes are largely recognisable emotions; worry, fear, sadness or anger, for example.  Emotions which, when they become dominant, affect our whole perception of, and reactions to, the circumstances of our lives. Another attitude which affects many of us is that of ‘trying too hard’ – where everything is an effort, and life is not allowed to flow more naturally.  The quality of our ‘being’ is often overlooked, crowded out by the effort of  ‘doing‘. We can then fail to notice the way we are affected by the things we do, both on an emotional and a physical level.

So if you frequently feel exhausted by the daily effort you put in to your life, it might be time  to look afresh at the way you do things.  Is the amount of  effort you put in to a task disproportionate to the effort that is actually needed to accomplish it?  An Alexander Technique teacher once told me to  notice the physical effort I used during the simple  task of turning on a tap.  Sure enough,  when I thought about it,  I was using way more effort than needed, and way more than I had ever noticed until my attention was drawn to it. And of course, the same could probably be said of  many other simple  daily tasks.  The  key is to start to observe, to be more mindful of our actions and the way we live our lives.

And then there’s the huge amount of energy we can put into resistance.  ‘Trying to’ hold on to things the way they are, to maintain our sense of familiarity and safety with what we know.  And herein lies the attitude of fear, the attitude which is said to be at the root of all others.  If things change, we are scared that change will be for the worse.  But then we are stopping the natural flow of our lives, which just might get better if we can learn to  relax  all that effort and let go.

The following quote comes from The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying
by Sogyal Rinpoche.  If effort and resistance to change is an issue for you, the exercise might be worth a try:

“Let’s try an experiment.  Pick up a coin.  Imagine that it represents the object at which you are grasping. Hold it tightly clutched in your fist and extend your arm, with the palm of your hand facing the ground. Now if you let go or relax your grip, you will lose what you are clinging on to. That’s why you hold on.

But there’s another possibility. You can let go and yet keep hold of it.  With your arm still outstretched, turn your hand over so that it faces the sky. Release your hand and the coin still rests on your open palm.  You let go. And the coin is still yours, even with all this space around it. 

So there is a way in which we can accept impermanence and still relish life, at one and the same time,  without grasping. “

I love this exercise.  Through our yoga practise, we learn to identify the areas in which we are grasping, striving, and holding on.  In asana, in pranayama, in meditation, we identify our blocks, and then we let go of the effort of holding on to them. We learn to flow with our lives, to use only the effort needed, and rebalance our bodies and our minds.  We gain a wonderful sense of space around us.

Nurturing ourselves

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It is so important to look after ourselves.  Many of us are ‘givers’ and  ‘carers’ rather than ‘takers’ from life.  We put ourselves so far down the list we may not get around to our own needs at all.  We may be looking after our families, our partners, our parents, our friends, and somewhere we can get lost in the middle of all this.

I have recently been reminded of just how much I take for granted, and put off for another day.  Becoming aware of the need to stretch,  to move, to ease my aches and pains, I will sometimes just soldier on with the demands of the day, putting off what I need to do until later – or maybe tomorrow; sometimes  even until next week.  By the time that need is calling even louder – perhaps with a muscle that just needed a little attention and is now in spasm, or with a migraine that I could have avoided had I listened to the earlier need for rest – it really is time to pay attention.

Going through a period of ill-health can be so enlightening.  It can remind us of how important it is to take care of, and nurture ourselves.  Yes, others may be calling us more loudly, but we are equally important.  It’s not selfishness.  After all, you getting sick is in no-one’s best interests.  I have been reminded in recent months of the very nurturing quality of the work I do, but which I hadn’t been making enough use of for myself.  Having all the tools at my disposal, but not always the time, I have  now been forced to make the time, to take time out for me.  I have been reminded again just how amazing the Dru yoga sequences can be for shifting my energy, for making me feel better and more myself – especially when done so much more regularly.  I have sought out reflexology treatments for myself with other therapists, and I have been giving myself time to apply Jin Shin Jyutsu treatments (almost) every day.  I have made time for daily meditation by getting up earlier, and am practising more pranayama than at any time since becoming a mother.  And I honestly don’t think it’s only me that has noticed the difference.  I am calmer, more focused, much happier than I was before.  And that has got to be better for everyone!

I’d love to hear how you make time for yourself, and what makes you feel  better.  Leave your comments below!

Entering the heart space

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You may have heard of the ‘heart space’.  If you’re lucky, you may have encountered your own heart space during meditation.  It’s that space in the chest, around the heart chakra, anahata, which feels supremely still and peaceful, and which – on a good day – we may find in our meditation practice.

But it’s not really just in the chest.  There is such a sense of spaciousness that it cannot be contained within our physical body.  It is a space which transcends the physical heart, in which we feel boundless joy, peace, equanimity, love and compassion.  It is, like all our experiences of meditation, hard to describe fully, as it is beyond mere words.  But my own experiences of the heart chakra in meditation, and my reflection upon these experiences, has led me to some interesting realisations and insights into the Safety Energy Locks (SELs) located around the heart and chest area, and which I use when treating with Jin Shin Jyutsu.

The only way in which we enter the heart space, and attain an experience of our heart centre, is by letting go of our attachments to the way things should be.  By gaining an acceptance of what is.  By letting go of our overwhelming emotions that live in our lower chakras.  And so it’s interesting that SEL 9 is located at the lower end of the shoulder blades, within the heart area, and is associated with ‘the end of one cycle, and the beginning of the new’.  Whenever we feel ‘stuck’ in our lives, trapped by familiar patterns of behaviour and reactions, we are trapped in the lower energy centres and are resisting the natural flow of energy in our lives, and in our physical bodies.  At these times, we are less likely to experience the peace of our heart space!  But when we let go of our resistance, and move through whatever is blocking our peace we step into this vast space.  So it’s really interesting that the next SEL, half way up the shoulder blades, is SEL 10, known as the ‘warehouse of abundance’.  If we are not feeling abundant in our lives, we  need to let go at SEL 9, and step into the peace and joy which is waiting for us at the heart.  We learn to recognise that:

‘The little space within the heart is as great as this vast universe’

~Chandogya Upanishad

Another Safety Energy Lock situated in the region of the heart chakra, at the level of the third rib, is SEL13, which teaches us to ‘love our enemies’.  To develop unconditional love and compassion- maitri – for others and for ourselves.  To see ourselves and others clearly, with all our faults, and love ourselves anyway.  To embrace the lessons others present us with, rather than pushing them away,  and to see the blessings within all the events of our lives,  without labelling them ‘good’ and ‘bad’, ‘friend’ and ‘enemy’.

When starting out in meditation, it can be hard to rise above the churning of emotions at our lower centres, but once we find the stillness and the joy of the heart, we are encouraged along the way.  If you have a lot of emotional issues surrounding the heart centre, it can take time and perseverance to step into the peace of the heart, but rest assured that it is there, just waiting for you to let go, and to step into your warehouse of abundance.

 

 

A place of peace and stillness

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Recently, a student asked me what  are the benefits of meditation. I answered truthfully, from my own experience, but felt afterwards that my answer had perhaps been inadequate in conveying all that meditation means to me.

The answer I gave was that meditation helps me to attain a calmer, steadier state of mind, and that a regular meditation practice helps me to carry these benefits over into the rest of my day.  All true, but there is so much more.

When I first established a daily practice, many years ago, I found that over time I became less reactive to the events of my life, dealing more calmly with the unexpected, and becoming more resistant to the ups and downs that we all experience. I found a new equanimity, calming the attachments (raga) and aversions (dwesha) to which we are all so prone. The ceaseless chatter of my mind was stilled, first in formal meditation  and subsequently in my wider life.  I found a deep and pervasive stillness and peace within myself, and a clarity of mind that would be impossible without taking the time to stop and simply be.  I developed a more tangible awareness of my chakras and began to truly experience the subtle movement of energy around my body. In truth, I became a different person.

But over the years, it became harder to maintain such an intense daily practice.  Long working days, marriage and parenting made it difficult, if not impossible, to find an hour a day to meditate, as well as another hour for asana practice. At first, I found that with missing the occasional day, I was able to maintain the benefits. But of course, with motherhood, I rarely had time to sit in formal meditation. I continued to chant, and to practice mindfulness, but it wasn’t entirely the same.  My sitting would get interrupted, and I learned to deal with the interruptions in a mindful way, but my practice wasn’t so profound.  Over time, that inner peace started to become more and more elusive.

I missed my daily practice dreadfully.  Whilst I loved my new life, the challenges that parenting sometimes presented would have been so much easier to deal with from that calm, centred place within.  And finally, it became essential for me to renew my commitment to my yoga, and to my meditation, in order to regain my full self.  Going back to a daily practice has been a revelation,  all over again.  I have been reminded of the healing and nurturing that can happen in deep meditation.  In meditation, in the stillness, I become fully aware of the work I  need to do on a physical and an emotional level;  I become aware of specific Safety Energy Locks (SELs) that are in need of some attention.  So as well as providing me with a tremendous sense of space and peace, my meditation practice also informs my asana practice and my Jin Shin Jyutsu practice too.  So much valuable information which would be hidden in the hubbub of daily life, but which makes itself heard in the silence of meditation.  Once again, I find an increased equanimity and a capacity to deal more calmly with the challenges of my daily life.  Once again, my intuition is enhanced.  So whilst I stand by the belief that something is better than nothing when it comes to yoga, and empathise fully with anyone who, like me,  has found their practice gradually squeezed out by other commitments, there does come a time when we all have to find a way to move our practice  forwards again, and to fully commit to that.

The ‘project’ of illness

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When I first started my Jin Shin Jyutsu training, one of the very many new ideas I was presented with was the concept of our illnesses being ‘projects’. The word ‘project’ usually suggests something we can engage with, be interested in, and work on. With Jin Shin Jyutsu, this is exactly the kind of approach we take to our own illnesses. Instead of despairing when we become unwell, we are challenged to use the tools we have learnt to meet our afflictions head on. It doesn’t usually work if we try to run away from illness. It is better to see it for what it is. If we try to ignore it, and the message it is giving us, it will most likely return in the future, maybe in the same form, perhaps in another.  If we attempt to ignore the early symptoms, chances are they will worsen until we do address their cause.

For instance, we know that the cold virus cannot survive in a bloodstream rich in vitamin C. If we ignore the early sniffles, or scratchy throat, it may develop into a really nasty cold. But if we acknowledge those symptoms and heed their warning, improving our diet, taking supplements if we need them, and getting more rest, we may avert the full-blown illness.

But what of the truly challenging times, when our ailments are more alarming and less easily solved? Is it possible to look at these symptoms with a degree of ambivalence, with a sense of enquiry rather than dread? What tools do we have that can help us through such situations?

There are no easy answers here. Everyone has to find their own way of dealing with illness. For myself, I try to remain present in the moment, dealing with what is, rather than with what should be. I may have had a busy week planned, which will have to change. I can waste the little energy I have railing against this fact, or I can accept the reality of it, and focus instead on getting well. I could try to enjoy the time I have in which to relax, sleep, or whatever it is I need to do to hasten my recovery. I could meditate and focus on my breath when asana practice is not so possible. I could accept help from family and friends with gratitude, and look for all the many positives in this new and unplanned situation. By accepting the way things are, I am likely to return to full health more quickly than if I fret about those things I cannot change right now.

So – apologies that I have not been posting so regularly over the past couple of weeks. I hope to be back to normal very soon!