Tag Archives: patience

Meditation and yoga can’t be rushed!

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Over the holidays we have been decorating and installing a new bathroom, a job which was long overdue.  We’re not quite finished yet,  but I can’t wait for washing to become a more spa-like experience!

Decorating is not something which comes naturally to me. I’m more of an ‘ideas girl’. I love to come up with the colours and dream about what the completed room will look like, but the actual painting isn’t one of my natural skills. I started in the airing cupboard, before the new pipework and cylinder went in – it was probably best I started there before getting to the walls people would actually see! It was very hot and confined in there, but in the end I did an ok job – not brilliant, but not terrible, either.

So now I’m on the bathroom.  I didn’t think it would take all that long. It’s a tiny room, and a lot of the wall is tiled, so really, I expected it to be done by now. Not by a long way! I had completely underestimated just how much preparation goes into making a nice smooth wall to paint, particularly when that wall used to be completely tiled. We have filled and sanded twice over, I’ve primed and prepared, but the perfectionist in me can see this still isn’t ready – more sanding is going to be required (hopefully just one more time!) I am itching to see it finished, but I know it’s going to be a busy weekend, and maybe, just maybe, I might get to put the first coat of actual coloured paint on the walls!

But, all this painting is a good opportunity to practise some mindfulness. I need to be completely focussed on the task in hand (I don’t want to mess up my beautifully white ceiling that I have finished!) I don’t want to have to clear up sploshes of paint from the floor, the tiling or the window (which has already been beautifully painted, thank you very much!) Cutting in requires full attention! And, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve found a much greater enjoyment in decorating than I had ever believed possible – and I’ve learnt to be patient with the time it’s taking to get to the end result.

In short, I’ve learned to enjoy the process, one step at a time, rather than being endlessly focussed on the end result. And this, if you’ve been wondering how the title fits this post, is where meditation and yoga come in. My morning yoga and meditation practice, each day, is a chance for me to listen to my body, listen to my mind, and  select the practices which seem right for that very moment in time. I don’t have a goal, and some days the whole thing is more satisfying than others. When we start out in yoga, we may very well have a goal that gets us started – mine was recovering from a lengthy illness, as I wrote about here.

That goal may be less aches and pains, feeling fitter, being able to relax, better sleep, relieving stress, anxiety or depression – the list goes on. To start with, you’ll feel full of optimism and enthusiasm. But as you go on, you’ll realise, you need to relax and enjoy the process. You will keep moving closer to your goal, but the process itself can’t be pushed. For instance, if you want to be able to touch your toes when you haven’t reached past your knees in years, don’t expect to reach that goal on day 1! Don’t expect too much, or you’ll just get frustrated and feel that yoga isn’t working for you.  If you want to meditate, accept that, initially, you may be continually having to bring your mind back from whatever train of thought it keeps heading off on, and wriggling around to try and find a more comfortable position. This is just a part of the process, like sanding my wall – yuk!  – which we have to embrace in order to get to the other side (beautiful bathroom / peaceful mind and comfortable body!) If we try to rush things, and expect too much, too soon, we run the risk of giving up before we get anywhere.

So, by all means, have a goal.  Just don’t rush things, take your time and enjoy the whole experience 🙂

Alison x

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Hands off!

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I might be unusual, but I don’t do a lot of hands-on adjustments in my yoga classes. I prefer to watch carefully and adjust my verbal cues to encourage students to find their best alignment in posture work. I believe that this is a safer way to work, as people are more likely to find a way that works for their body, one which lies within their own comfortable limits.
From watching someone, however carefully, I cannot always tell why they find if difficult to move in a particular way. I am not an expert in their body and their medical history in the way that they are (they live it, after all!) And therefore, if I start manually adjusting them, I may do more harm than good. I myself have been hurt as a result of over-enthusiastic adjustment by a yoga teacher at the start of my yoga journey. I have been sat on in a sitting forward bend to force my lower back a little lower. I have had my arm pulled into alignment overhead in triangle pose. The second of these exacerbated a pre-existing shoulder problem, and meant that I was unable to continue with the class.
And so I am very wary of manual adjustment. It was on my Dru yoga teacher training that I found my own way to work with, rather than against, my own body, with all its history, all its weaknesses, as well as its strengths. It was here that I found how to align my arm in triangle pose, whilst accommodating my shoulder injury, and without pain. No, it wasn’t as quick as being pulled into position, it took time and patience, but it was safe. Working this way increased my range of movement, rather than restricting it further. And surely, this has to be one of the main aims of yoga!
Whilst some students come to yoga in search of the ‘perfect body’ and quick results, I see it as part of my job as a yoga teacher to help them find that patience, to help them to see the benefits of taking their time, to help them differentiate  between a quick fix and a long-lasting improvement in their posture, their flexibility, their  physical and their emotional wellbeing. The rest of the world can move fast, forcing us along with it, but yoga is an escape from all of that. For some of us, it may be the only place we can move slowly, take our time, and deeply let go. And that can be the most healing thing of all.

Taking time out for ourselves

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womanstress  All the research shows us just how important it is to take time out, to look after ourselves, before we get sick. By taking care of ourselves at the very first sign of stress, we may prevent a whole range of mental, emotional and physical ailments. Yes, it can be hard to find the time, and yes, there may be others we need to take care of, but we will do that all the better for acknowledging our own needs.

If you’ve ever been less than patient with someone when you’re feeling down, you’ll know exactly what I mean.

If you’ve ever felt so tired, drained, and just plain exhausted that you have almost lost touch with that wonderful person you are on the inside, you’ll know how important taking care of yourself really is.

And if you have ever felt guilty about taking that time, you need to stop that guilt, right now.

Here’s why….

So many of our top diseases now are stress-related, and so many of us are  getting unwell, both mentally and physically, because of the way we live our lives.  Work, work and more work doesn’t make us happy.  It might (or might not!) make us rich.  But since when did money automatically make us happier?  Happiness is right here, right in this moment, not some time in the future when our bank account is a little fuller, or when we have that amazing new car, house, or tv.  It’s in the time we spend with our family and our friends, or pursuing our dreams, not only in the achievements and recognisable successes of our lives.  It’s in the whole process of life – and if it’s hard for you to find your happy side in all of this, I would encourage you to take time out and find a space in which you can get back in touch with that sense of contentment.  It doesn’t have to be expensive, it doesn’t have to be fancy, it might be as simple as watching your breath, having a stretch or reading a few pages of your favourite book. It might be in listening to a beautiful or uplifting piece of music, or going for a walk.  It might be in looking at the sky full of stars on a clear night, or at the dew on the grass in the morning.

So, we don’t have to spend a lot of money, and we don’t necessarily have to spend all that much time; even a few minutes in which we are mindful of our surroundings, or of what we are doing, totally and completely absorbed in our breath, or the music, or the movement….even those few minutes can help to build our sense of wellbeing, and help us to relate more happily to our world and those around us.  Our empathy, our patience and our sense of connection to others are all strengthened, and we feel amazing!  Physically, mentally and emotionally, we feel stronger, more resilient, and able to handle the demands of our lives with greater ease. Thinking and decision -making can be easier, as all the mental chit-chat starts to settle down.

 

 

It doesn’t have to be difficult!

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Sometimes we set such high standards for ourselves.  We want to be the best, to achieve great things, in an impossibly short space of time.  Whilst it can be good to aim high, we need to practice patience and acceptance of where we are now.

So if we start something new, let’s try not to think we can perfect it straight away.  If we take up a new activity – a sport, say – we will usually improve slowly, remembering that we are meant to be enjoying the process, not just the end result.  If we have never run before, we won’t be running marathons in the first few weeks or months, and some of us never will. If we take up tennis, we hopefully will have a lot of fun, but most of us won’t end up as world-class athletes.

The same thing applies when you start yoga.  Sometimes people have said to me that they would not be able to ‘do’ yoga, as they are inflexible, or they can’t relax.  They feel that if they can’t yet relax or touch the floor, then there is no point  in attending a class.  Of course, yoga is partly about flexibility and relaxation, but these are not requirements for starting a class. They are more something to work towards, while we notice the small improvements and are kind to ourselves as we slowly move towards the things that seem out of reach.  What is more important than where we start is our enthusiasm and our desire to learn.  If we put off starting yoga until we are more flexible, or until we are more relaxed, we  may never start.

Nobody would suggest that you could not attend university if you did not already have a degree, or that you could not write a book unless you already had a book deal.  Once you have those things, you have proof that you can study or write  a book, but if you waited for that proof, you would never start.  So sometimes we just have to act on our own desire to change, our own belief that we can achieve our dreams.  Patanjali uses the word samvega, meaning the urge, the desire to achieve enlightenment, and suggests that it is this, rather than the difficulty of the practice we assume to get there, which is the most important determinant of success (Pada 1, Sutra 21 -22; Saraswati’s ‘Four Chapters on Freedom’).  So we needn’t wait until we can achieve a complicated asana or meditation.  We can start with something easy and comfortable, and the end result will be the same if we truly apply ourselves.  In Jin Shin Jyutsu, one of the attitudes is that of ‘trying too hard’, when everything seems too much of an effort.  We all have those times in life, where we need to  learn to slow down, take it easy and let go with our breath.  Yoga and meditation is the means by which we learn to accept where we are right now.  It should not be another source of stress, another area of our lives in which we push ourselves to achieve too quickly.  We relax and enjoy the process – each sequence, each asana, each breath.