Tag Archives: rest

Why mums can’t do everything…

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newborn-1506248_1280Mums do so much. So, so much. Yet they always think they can do even more. They feel guilty if they stop, even for a few minutes.  Sitting down, in the day….NO! Going to bed when they’re exhausted….NO WAY, there’s still more chores to do!

But here’s why us mums need to take care of ourselves. (That’s us mums of whatever age, with one, two or more children, babies, toddlers, or teens). We can only give our best when we feel at our best. And we frequently feel way less than our best. Sometimes, we forget what our best even felt like.

When we become tired, exhausted, and depleted, we lose something of ourselves. Mums frequently say they can barely remember who they were before they had children. Becoming a mother is certainly a life-changing event, a momentous thing for any woman. We grow very quickly, learning our baby’s, and then our older child’s needs. We very quickly learn to put their needs before our own. There’s probably nobody more selfless than  mothers. And that’s the way it has to be.

But when we get tired and neglect our own needs for too long (and we all know it can be VERY long!), we start to lose ourselves, that glimmer and sparkle that makes us who we ARE. We may lose our sense of humour, we may lose our vitality, we may even start to lose that vital empathy and ability to see things from our child’s point of view. Those things that bother them can start to feel so small compared with our own mountainous fatigue. We may become impatient, irritable, or depressed. We may stop enjoying and savouring this time with our children as much as we feel we should (oops, there’s that guilt again!) The sheer wonder of being a parent can start to pass us by, and it can feel like an endless uphill struggle.

So – we need to take time out. It isn’t selfish to look after ourselves from time to time. Who are we kidding if we tell ourselves we can be awake for 20 hours a day, every day, and still be supermum?! Yes, the house might be tidy, but the children crying again will feel like the last straw. Someone else can wash up for a change, someone else can bring in the washing and fold it away. Take those few  minutes for yourself, have a sit down with a good book, your favourite music, do some exercise, have a lovely warm bath – whatever you need to replenish your energy levels and bring back some of that lovely sparkle that makes you YOU!

What are your favourite ways to relax and recharge? Leave your comments below!

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Alison x

 

 

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The ‘project’ of illness

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When I first started my Jin Shin Jyutsu training, one of the very many new ideas I was presented with was the concept of our illnesses being ‘projects’. The word ‘project’ usually suggests something we can engage with, be interested in, and work on. With Jin Shin Jyutsu, this is exactly the kind of approach we take to our own illnesses. Instead of despairing when we become unwell, we are challenged to use the tools we have learnt to meet our afflictions head on. It doesn’t usually work if we try to run away from illness. It is better to see it for what it is. If we try to ignore it, and the message it is giving us, it will most likely return in the future, maybe in the same form, perhaps in another.  If we attempt to ignore the early symptoms, chances are they will worsen until we do address their cause.

For instance, we know that the cold virus cannot survive in a bloodstream rich in vitamin C. If we ignore the early sniffles, or scratchy throat, it may develop into a really nasty cold. But if we acknowledge those symptoms and heed their warning, improving our diet, taking supplements if we need them, and getting more rest, we may avert the full-blown illness.

But what of the truly challenging times, when our ailments are more alarming and less easily solved? Is it possible to look at these symptoms with a degree of ambivalence, with a sense of enquiry rather than dread? What tools do we have that can help us through such situations?

There are no easy answers here. Everyone has to find their own way of dealing with illness. For myself, I try to remain present in the moment, dealing with what is, rather than with what should be. I may have had a busy week planned, which will have to change. I can waste the little energy I have railing against this fact, or I can accept the reality of it, and focus instead on getting well. I could try to enjoy the time I have in which to relax, sleep, or whatever it is I need to do to hasten my recovery. I could meditate and focus on my breath when asana practice is not so possible. I could accept help from family and friends with gratitude, and look for all the many positives in this new and unplanned situation. By accepting the way things are, I am likely to return to full health more quickly than if I fret about those things I cannot change right now.

So – apologies that I have not been posting so regularly over the past couple of weeks. I hope to be back to normal very soon!